17 January 2011

Again, we are threatened by the developers

This Monday started with this makes-you-want-to-punch-the-monitor report by SCMP. The Secretary General of the all mighty Real Estate Developers Association (REDA) commented that the new government rules on floor areas would force them to build shittier flats for us, like the flats in this Village can possibly be any shittier than they are now.

The deal is something like this: since 2001, the building of amenities and "green" features such as balconies, clubhouses and wide common corridors in private housing is exempted from the calculation of the gross floor area (GFA). That means, developers do not have to pay for the land premium for building most of these features. As we all know that, these features are not the selling points of residential developments. Having a clubhouse, swimming pools, balconies, covered corridors, and gardens, will absolutely in no way boost the selling price of the flats. Moreover, developers have always made it clear what they're selling us; they never fail to fool us with the differences among "saleable area", "usable area" and GFA. Although the developers got free land for building these amenities and features for us, they never intended to use them to boost the selling price or make any profit out of it; all they wanted to do is fostering a quality and sustainable built environment for free.

Now, the all-evil government is trying to cap the size of amenities and green features to no more than 10% of gross floor area. Louis Loong Hon-biu, Secretary General of REDA, warned that they would stop building clubhouse, swimming pools, balconies, bay windows, wide covered corridors, easily accessible carparks and gardens. Do you know what that could mean, my dear readers? That means no more luxury shoeboxes for you to show off! No more bay window for you to house your friends when they sleep over. No more clubhouse to entertain your visitors with overpriced lukewarm coffee. No more swimming pool for you to check out the MILFs. No more gardens for you to jog once every six months. These features are essential, right? Villagers NEVER want affordable flats sold at reasonable price. All of us want $10,000+ psf flats with all these "features" so that we can show off. We're so in need of them! Just sell us shoeboxes in which we sit 2-foot apart from our 40" 3D TV. We don't care! But make damn sure we have those "features"!!!

Our developers just know too well what we want. We've grown tired of living in normal buildings where you have a few lifts going up and down, a lobby with mailboxes and a guard post, and a room on every floor to temporarily store the garbage. That is so sub-human a living condition, right?

REDA, we salute you.

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