07 January 2011

7 tips to getting me ignore you on facebook

Sorry, can't help posting it. (yum yum...)

Have you watched the movie “The Social Network”? Pretty cool movie, right? The moment when Mark Zuckerberg was named as TIME Person of the Year 2010, I can’t help wonder how much facebook has impacted on my life. Yes, his impact on me is greater than Julian Assange. So anons, stop whining.

During my three years of facebooking, I met someone whom I couldn’t have met in real life and later regretted it. Though his avatar spoke like Don Juan, the chemistry between his real person and I just wasn’t there. Many of my social gatherings have evolved into Vogue photoshoots since facebooking. Everyone is so obsessed with looking like having fun in the facebook photos that in return dilutes the fun itself. I also have to advance my makeup skills so as not to look too raw in the photos tagged by my high-maintenance friends.

To learn from my experience, this year I decided to restrict my usage time on facebook and trim down my friends list to 300. I conjure up the following checklist to remind me when to push the “not now” button or simply refuse to comment.

  • Send me a friend request with a profile picture which shows only part of your facial features – If you’re ashamed to show the full face of your avatar, I don’t think your real person is very presentable.
  • Send me a friend request when your friends list is less than 50. – Apparently your avatar is starting a new life, a life where you are fresh, single and adventurous, and which excludes your old acquaintances and wife.
  • Send me a friend request when our mutual friends happen to be my hottest girlfriends. – Sorry, hun. I’m not one of the stamps you’re collecting.
  • Send me a message with the subject “Friendship”. – If you deliberately highlight your humble wishes, it usually means your true intention is something else. Plus, the opposite sex and I seldom agree on the definition of “just a friend”.
  • Send me a message like “wow I like you wow I like this please give me your yahoo or hotmail address”. – read stalker. Plus Yahoo and Hotmail are so 2001. Libertines.hk is the new black!
  • Quote sad songs lyrics on your status – a sign of attention-seekingness and apparently you are too ashamed to mention what you did in details.
  • Bombard me with pictures of every shopping mall and restaurant you visited. – Do you want me to leave the comment “boring and pathetic”?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Commenting is sexy...or you may want to tweet us and like us in Facebook!