09 March 2010

The Libertines Pub Weekly Truth and Light Watch

I know you miss this series. The Libertines Pub Weekly Truth and Light Watch is back this week! Recently, nothing much has happened with our favourite daft Society for Truth and Light. I guess they're busy cashing in the money they ripped people off from their god-gifted flag day. Until last week, I saw something very interesting from their weekly e-news. They're introducing a Gay Hotline for Christ's sake!

If you're a homosexual, you are bound to have lots of problems you could not possibly deal with. You are mostly likely having these shits:
  1. Fear: "Nobody likes you, everyone left you, they're all out without you, having fun..." So you start thinking about crazy things, and you turn gay.
  2. Dissociation: You hate your dad and love your mom, so you turn gay.
  3. You hate yourself, you admire your mates, you turn gay.
If you're a homosexual, you're unhealthy both mentally and physically:
  1. You're most likely drunkards and junkies.
  2. You must have thought about killing yourself as you cannot really stand your own homosexuality.
  3. You cannot hold your shit as your asshole got worked too hard.
  4. You most likely have Aids.
All in all, your gayness is a sickness and you need help. There're absolutely NO happy and healthy homosexuals. You turned gay because you're unhappy one way or the other. Once you clean up those shits, you will become a healthy man again and turn straight.

I urge you gay people to call the Society for Truth and Light and seek help. Their hotline will start operating from March 12, every Friday 6-9pm, and every Saturday 2-5pm. Call 2390 2323.

Talking about the daft Society, how could we not mention its retarded son Zac Kao? He got married last Sunday. On behalf of the Libertines Pub, we congratulate him on earning the right to fuck his wife from now on. Anybody asked if he had had premarital sex? Zac told us that premarital sex is grossly dirty. From their horny looks, you can tell they're still unopened bottles of water before Sunday.

Again, call 2390 2323. You need help. Maybe I need that help, too.

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