02 February 2010

The Libertines Pub List of Hong Kong Misnomers

Last time when I went to Shenzhen, I found some restaurants there are now selling "Hong Kong Fried Rice". I reckoned immediately that must be a revenge taken by our Fujianese brothers, for our attribution of the barely eatable, sticky "Fujianese Fried Rice" to their home province.

Misnomers are everywhere. As a serious and responsible blog, we feel the need of presenting to our readers a list of the most retarded seriously misleading names in Hong Kong. Here you go, The Libertines Pub List of Hong Kong Misnomers:

1. The Democratic Alliance for the Betterment and Progress of Hong Kong

Self-explanatory. The DAB is so democratic that they put the Democratic Party to shame. Well, I mean, what else couldn't?

2. The Society for Truth and Light

We all crave for Truth and Light like the Society. They found the eternal truth of the world, which spells, "gay is wrong and it will lead to STD and AIDS". How did they find that? Out of the book of eternal truth called the Holy Bible. So, watch out, gay lions and lobsters! Eric the shotgun at God's service.

3. Mass Transit Railway

You thought their core business is carrying you slaves to work in a massive and efficient way? Dick found it's just another Hong Kong misnomer. Their core business can be found here. Stop whining, Anti Choo Choo angry kids! Buy this instead.

4. Court of Final Appeal

We're taught that nothing is final. Even Final Fantasy made it to XIII. That's the 13th final, you see! So you've spent millions of dollars in court and won FINALLY in the Court of Final Appeal? Pray that your case has nothing to do with the Basic Law! According to Article 158 of the Basic Law, the Standing Committee of the National People's Congress (SCNPC) has the right to interpret our mini constitution. Court of Final Appeal? You're authorised by the SCNPC on your "final" interpretation only. Although we're not at all unhappy about the result of this particular case, we still think...what a name (misnomer)!

5. Hong Kong Coliseum

Looking up to the great Roman Empire, we built our own Coliseum in Hung Hom. There's no lion eating gladiators, only Joey Yung does her annual concert and screws 10,000+ people every night there. The misleading part being its Chinese name: 香港體育館. What's the last sport event you remember seeing there?

6. Professional Commons

Before the Anti Choo Choo protest, I guess most of us knew shit about this daft organisation. How professional one ought to be to become a prestige member of this respectable organisation? You need 100 professional HK dollars each year. And who're the existing professionals there? In their strategy committee, I can identify one engineer, a few accountants, a lawyer, and a bunch of IT "professionals" (next time when your server is down or you're having a funny internet connection, sue your IT guys for their professional negligence; they asked for that). So yes, professionals, I think you guys are...very common.

7. Urban Renewal Authority

Their vision: To create quality and vibrant urban living in Hong Kong - a better home in a world-class city. Keywords: home, urban living.

Results: Re-development projects with colourful names that you can never afford to live in and call that home.

8. Cyberport

Their visions: Establish Hong Kong Cyberport as a leading information technology hub and digital city of the Asia-Pacific region. David Webb told us that the project was awarded to the son of Li Ka-shing without tender, and that according to the government, "two-thirds of the site will be for Cyberport development". Outcome: 76% of the floor area became the now well-known Bel-Air. Out of the 17% floor area that became offices, how many percent of the tenants are "quality IT and IT related companies critical to the development of Hong Kong into a leading digital city in the region"? You do the calculation here. Maybe its name is not that misleading after all. Its achievements are entirely...cyber. Just look at their "cyber" website; why one needs to "click to zoom" to look at the PDF files? What does that mean? Leading IT hub, my ass.

9. Happy Valley

Who's happy in the Happy Valley? I'm sure the people who manage to live there are happy as hell. For the gamblers it's almost always unhappy.

10 The Libertines Pub

It turns out that the Libertines Pub is not a pub but a blog. For those of you who googled "good pubs in HK" and found us, sorry, Free Beer here (tomorrow)!

These are the 10 Hong Kong misnomers I could think of. Have I missed any good shits? Help expand the list, peeps!

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