19 January 2010

The Libertines Pub Weekly Truth and Light Watch

Last week I received this eDM from the Society for Truth and Light. They claimed that they're still short of 1,500 bloody volunteers for their long-waited flag day on 13 Feb 2010. They even suggested a few things we can do after helping them rip people off.

These days, the internet tough guys are just getting tougher. You all saw the triumph they had outside of Legco over the weekend. So until we see the real Truth and Light, it's so Post 80' wise to resort to the great internet for reasons to do (or not to do) anything. I did a bit of research here and here; together with my hopeless imagination, I came up with this:

50 lame reasons why you should not volunteer in the coming Truth and Light Flag Day:
  1. The Libertines Pub told you not to go before and reminded you about that again the day before the flag day.
  2. Bowtie said he might drop in.
  3. Christina Chan didn't sign up, so you think it's probably not worthy.
  4. You have your Chinese New Year's Eve dinner in the morning.
  5. The man on television told you to stay tuned.
  6. You're celebrating the birthdays of Marc Emery and Robbie Williams.
  7. I almost signed up, until I saw this d-bag clip that put me off entirely.
  8. You're staying home to work on your soap sculpture.
  9. You did your own thing and now you've got to undo it.
  10. You have watermelons to harvest that morning at FarmVille.
  11. You have to check the expiry dates on your dairy products.
  12. You need to check the live tweets of the Good Vibrations Fest all day.
  13. You want to see how long you can go without saying yes.
  14. You're going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise that morning.
  15. Your plot to take over the world is thickening.
  16. You are suffering from PCNYS (Pre Chinese New Year Syndrome).
  17. You don't want to leave your comfort zone.
  18. Your palm reader told you not to carry anything orange on 13 Feb 2010.
  19. You have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
  20. Your subconscious says no.
  21. You have faith in the Society; you're pretty damn sure that they can find 1,500 idiots to help.
  22. You left your body in other clothes.
  23. You're Post 80' and you say "fucking no" to virtually everything.
  24. The last time you went, you never came back.
  25. You rather sell flags for HKAYP on the Kowloon side.
  26. None of your socks match.
  27. You're too busy practicing witchcraft.
  28. You know how to steal money from donation bags and probably can't resist doing that.
  29. You changed the lock on your door and now you can't get out.
  30. Your chocolate-appreciation class meets that morning.
  31. If God can ever make the phrases in "年三十.賣旗日.明光社.靠哂你" rhyme, you'd go.
  32. You never go out on days that end in "Y."
  33. You're gay.
  34. You're too old/young for that stuff.
  35. You have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment your hair.
  36. You have too much guilt.
  37. You just can't find anything to wear that goes well with the orange donation bag.
  38. Flag Day gives you gas.
  39. There are important world issues that need worrying about.
  40. You're uncomfortable when you're alone or with others.
  41. Fag day? Oh, Flag day...not interested.
  42. Your favorite commercial is on TV.
  43. You're on the Dark Side and the power is so great that you couldn't get your ass moved to HK Island.
  44. You have to study for a blood test.
  45. Cussing and flag selling don't go together.
  46. You wank.
  47. You thought it was still yesterday... you must have crossed the International Date Line in the wrong direction...
  48. Your principle for participating in anything is to have it ends up in bed.
  49. You work for the government. Separation of church and state, you know.
  50. You need time to think up more reasons.

May the Truth and Light be with you!

3 comments:

  1. 51. You don't want to go and neither is your Avatard. He got stuck in Pandora too busy mining unobtanium and screwing the long limbed big booby creatures there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice one!

    52. You got a box with a red button to worry about.

    Keep it coming, pals!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 53. You are only interested in "raising the flag" not selling it.

    54. You think Flag Day is about getting a woody ...

    54. You think Flag Day is a scam right from the get go. You would volunteer only if they correct Flag Day to Sticker Day.

    ReplyDelete

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