10 February 2010
Smoke gets in my hair
I don’t smoke so I don’t enjoy conflict of interests in writing this post. However, as an empathetic human being, I couldn’t imagine what life would be if the government choose to ban my addictions (namely, the Hong Kong-styled milk tea, chocolates, flirting with bad boys) in the manner it bans smoking.
Whenever I need a caffeine boost at work, I would need to leave the work I’m doing, go outside the office building and hide like a naughty dog.
On every cup of milk tea I buy, there would be a huge sticker on the cup featuring a cranky premature aging lady, warning me milk tea is bad for my heart and skin.
I could only taste my La Maison du Chocolat truffles in the street, the heavenly aroma and silky texture mixed with the fume of vehicles.
Before I hang out in the clubs, I would need to research for the few which allow flirting and hook-ups, or embarrassingly ask the bartender if it’s okay to do so.
In a word, my life, alongside the society, would be extremely bitter. The Law, undeniably, serves the purpose of protecting citizens from harm, like requiring us to wear a seatbelt even it creases my ruffled dress. However, at the same time, it also serves the principle of preserving individual rights and freedom. In cases where both principles conflict, the Law should balance out the harm and the importance of the freedom. When it comes to smoking, if the government decides that it is as harmful as throwing a child down the shopping mall balcony, why can’t it just ban smoking completely?
It can’t let go of the tax revenue from smokers of course.
As for the proposal to ban the depiction of smoking in films, the chairwoman from the Council on Smoking and Health cited the example of Avatar, claiming that it builds an image that smart people smoke and thus tempts quitters to resume their old habit.
It is as absurd as suggesting Avatar tempts women to dye themselves blue because Neytiri, the heroine in the film, is hot and fierce.
I watched Trainspotting when I was a teenage girl. Did I surrender to the allure of heroine because Ewan McGregor looks so cool in it? No.
I also watched the film Coco Before Chanel. Did I follow Coco’s puffing habit because she’s such a trailblazer in women fashion? Another no.The reason for someone to pick up an addiction is so complicated and diversified that the government and its advisors have no clue but to find a handy explanation to blame on. Then they propose a simpleton solution.
Truth is, since the smoking ban, no one, at least the smokers in my circle, has given up the tabs. When I need some chit-chat after a dinner or a film, I still need to go outdoors with them, inhaling their wit and second-hand smoke. I still need to compromise on the places for drinks so that we are surrounded by air conditioner exhaust to negate my companions’ guilt of polluting fresh air. I still keep mum to what they’re doing to their lungs just to keep them from rolling eyes on me. When the smoking ban doesn’t work in the first place, extending the ban is like giving the kiss of life to a blow-up doll: totally hopeless.
Just like smudged eye makeup, ending up with smoke in my hair after a night out means I was having fun. Who loves to be flawless and clean anyway?
09 February 2010
This is a post about SEX, filter me out, sucker!
No wonder our reader was that upset about not able to read our post once it came out; it's the debut post by our hot chick Bambi Cherryboom for Christ's sake! If I were him, I'd have thrown a punch at the computer and burn the whole place down! Our IT team checked and found that the filter at his school is this wicked firewall called NetProtect, a CUHK tailor-made firewall application for schools and SMEs. The IT team said there's nothing much they can do about that, and they suggested having the editorial committee to look at the blocked contents and check for strings that the NetProject does not like. (You can now imagine the corporate management at the Libertines Pub...)
The editors hence checked word by word Bambi's post. The editorial committee is of the opinion that Bambi's post is more educational than pornographic. There're fine pieces of advice on how a woman should treat her body and sexuality. We had a hard time finding out the essential difference between Bambi's post and this educational material, only that Bambi's post is hundreds times more interesting. Words like "fuck" didn't even exist in her post. We really have no clue why the great NetProtect should filter us out. We're frustrated.
Is it because of the title "Why sex can boost your luck"? Are they worrying that their students will go fucking like rabbits after reading that, in order to boost their luck? Or is it merely about the word "sex"? We want to conduct this little experiment:
Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex
Readers, tell me if this post is banned. We're also interested in knowing if we're banned in other occasions as well, write me or comment to this post. We want you to be able to read us wherever you may roam!
Lunch with a libertine
We're in one of those cafes on Gough Street. Sitting next to our zero privacy table (typical setting in those filthy cafes) were two fine middle aged women. One of them were making different phone calls in walkie talkie style (speaking while holding the damn phone in front of her mouth instead of sticking it to her face and simply not listening to the receiver at all). Her furious explanation on certain something to her lunch mate and her wicked way of using the phone caught my ears (while my eyes were still on the big eyes and those legs). She was moaning about the sewage overflow problem at her residence near Gough Street. I learned that they had asked DAB for help already, but as they're not sure if DAB could help, somebody suggested approaching Kam Nai-wai, who is also a member of Central and Western District Council. I guest it's the slogan from Kam's blog at work here; "Find DP if you need help, DPHK works!". I was a bit puzzled at first by the warning that furious woman gave her fellow angry residents, "when you get to Kam's office, don't let them take pictures of you!" I thought she's worried that Kam would use the pictures taken to
That woman's calls to other people repeating the same warning over her walkie talkie lost their groove, so I started checking out the conversation at the table on my right hand side. Another two fine young ladies were there. Half of their conversation was in English, mixed with Cantonese sentences in between; typical At last, my ears turned to the legs again and learned that she's Team Jacob. I love lunches, especially those on Mondays. Cherryboom, could we pick something more affordable?
08 February 2010
On Gossiping
Think of the newstands that are occupied with gossip magazines. Think of the people who gossip about celebrities when you walk in a restaurant. Think of your colleagues who gossip about your bosses when you enter the office. Think of your classmates in schools who are spreading rumours about some of your other friends when you walk into your classroom.
What does that tell you? Gossiping in Hong Kong is a habit widely considered immoral and wicked. It intrudes our privacy and wears down our reputation. It denies the teaching of the Confucius that human nature is inherently good. But humans always contradict themselves. While we are condemning the unacceptable acts of the Paparazzi, we are gossiping every day. We would be indignant at the paparazzi of shooting photographs of celebrities being naked and at the same flip through those magazines at home and meditate on them.
In Hong Kong, moralists and specialists are in the habit of accusing the people of Hong Kong being too reluctant to read actual books and spend most of their time reading gossip magazines for leisure. But we are living in the twenty-first century. Being a commercially driven society, money has replaced the gods as the object of worship. Merits related to money should be considered virtue. The day of a successful business man is dense with meetings. Our employers invest their faith in Social Darwinism to justify the ills of capitalism and remain at the top of the social hierarchy. Their employees, with the fear of losing a job, must accept their unreasonable salary by doing a great amount of work. For the unfortunate, they may have to moonlight or work overtime.
Therefore, my dear readers, can you imagine a normal employee in Hong Kong would have the time and mental capacity to engage in intellectual activities and useless political discussions? Perhaps he needs time to laugh at the silly acts of politicians and poke fun at the stories which celebrities have unskillfully fabricated. Perhaps he needs some entertaining. Perhaps he needs gossips to put away their anxieties of work. After all, he was brought up under the saying, 'Hard work is a virtue.'
W
05 February 2010
I'm in your blog, ruining your democracy
As with most things, Ying usually is followed by Yang. Hence I'm here to counter all that good stuff and make your long Friday, even longerrrrr. YEAH!!
(I can almost hear you guys moaning ''oh no, not Eric! Can't it be Will or Henry? or that Hot Chick from yesterday, dammit, Dick or Icarus are fine too, but not Eric!)
Sorry but I've got sour news for you, much like this great techo village of Hong Kong, this pub ain't running on the democratic juice neither.
Speaking of democracy, not so long time ago in a village not so far away, the LSD (annoying members, but ROCKING acronym!! Dude!) managed to get the attention they deserved by resigning from their uber important seats on the council of the Galactic Empire. Not only to piss Vader and the Emperor off but to also use the
attention they've gathered, milked them for as long as possible, then collected the essence to make hair conditioner for the guy with the long hair.Just check out the guy on the right, look at those mane, look it at, I SAID LOOK AT IT!! So long, so wavy, it's majestic, isn't it? Jealous much? I know I am.
Apart from taking a pop at grand daddy and making hair conditioner. I think they also resigned for some other shitty reason, which I forgot..Would you guys please excuse me and wait, while I call Henry to ask?
While I make this call, why don't you guys read this post from the pub, I think it's some how related. BRB...
Ok...I did called Henry and he called me a fuckface then told me to fucking use the fucking Google...
Bastardo....what's wrong with him..it's only 4am in the morning.
So I did fucking use the fucking Google and it turns out that the LSD were pushing for a resign-for-referendum plan, how did that work out for them? I don't know, my time machines broke down, and Michael J. Fox is too old to time travel with me, but blindly pushing for a general election referendum without educating the population on democracy 1st, is just a disastrous clusterfucks waiting to happen...and one that I will thoroughly enjoy lol hard at.
But hey! Since you guys are much smarter than me (Be confident! Judging from this post, u can tell a 2 year old is smarter than me already) and you guys DID read that post I linked earlier (bloody good post, right?!?!!? Right?!!)
Perhaps you will realized that all that money and energy spent on pushing for a general election might all be down the shitter once the Emperor uses his ace up his sleeves and do us a Iran/U.S/Nigeria/Afghanistan/ <-list too long, use the fucking google to find the rest. It might all be too late, just ask the Iranian/American/Nigerian/Afghan So, stop relying on the attention collecting fairies and education yourself on your democracy!! Me? Fuck that! I'm off to play Assassin Creed 2 on my PS3.(Hellooooo!! Sony endorsement!)
That's how awesome I am.
On Writing.
I am not here to talk about Stephen King's fiction but the act writing itself. For a person like me who doesn't write often and well, this act is really "For writing sake, I write." Just like many other Read this if you read Chinese. For those who don't, please use our great Google translator. I give you a little explanation in case the translator returns you with some funny things. The writer is commenting on a magazine cover with a photo of Christina Chan wearing "sexy" clothing at home taken by paparazzi. The magazine detained the photo for a year and have it published after some civic events in January. The writer's logic is, Christina and her followers should thank the magazine for help in propagating her politic belief while other
Sorry readers, I tried to think in the writer's shoes but it's so smelly which I couldn't stay long. Do you?
If you are paying for
04 February 2010
Why sex can boost your luck
However, whenever I read news about some alleged rape / indecent assault cases, I was as perplexed by the story lines as by the Universe. You left your hubby at home, drank at a hotel bar alone, made out with a horse trainer you just met in your car, decided you were not up for further encounter, then accused the trainer of assaulting you? What rationale you can put up except you can’t bear yourself to be fondled without spiritual love? You agreed to be driven home by a medical school alumnus you just met at a party, stayed the night at his place and the next morning you accused the guy of raping you? Being shocked to find you can be seduced by a non-boyfriend/husband/Brad Pitt material overnight, or you can have sex but not make love, doesn’t mean you did not consent. Simple logic.Recently, the case of a teen model being tricked into having sex “rituals” nine times by a Taoist Mao Shan master put me to further wonder. As a member of the Smarter Sex, I’m oh so unwilling to admit we can be this stupid to agree on having unprotected sex with an ugly guy thrice our age. Not to mention there are no 1000 thread count bedding and erotic candles, but probably cartoon-print bed sheets and smelly incense. Yikes.
As a result, I would like to adopt a more emphatic approach to deduce why some women fall prey to such mysterious trick, which I believe, had happened and will happen again and again.
The most probable reason is that some women, especially those aspiring to be models, tried and it worked. Others are convinced as a result. From the papers we knew the Mao Shan master was recommended to the victim by her friend. Doesn’t it tell us something? Maybe it’s not a trick at all. Maybe it’s a secret truth that yearns to be tested and proved.
Which leads to my conclusion, if my reasoning serves me right:
Sex does bring you luck.
Because:
- It releases the “feel-good hormone” endorphin, which gives you a positive outlook on every aspect of your life. Positive attitude attracts positive luck.
- It gives you an afterglow, and glowing skin is essential for modeling career.
- It may boost your pheromone production, which draws you a large fan base.
- It is a nice workout session for all your sexy assets. We all sell sex in some way, don’t we?
- It teaches us what works on our bosses (i.e. our beloved males) and what doesn’t, so that we can suck their purse with all our might.
I’m going to grab someone for some fortune making tonight. May fortune be with you in CNY. Muah*
Bambi is here to disprove the statement "there are no girls on the internet". We met her in one of the thousands Omegle sessions we tried, where she came back with "21/f/HK" when we asked. Her insight and knowledge on
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